But as a guy, did I do any of that? No. Should I have still? Not sure.

Really great question, actually, and thanks for meeting me. You’re wonderful.

One of our least appreciated instincts is our gut instinct, and it is something we *must* learn to trust if we are to keep ourselves safe in today’s world. More people get into trouble by ignoring that little voice when it pipes up than by any bold adventuring.

As to knowing someone “enough” from online interactions alone, I posit that we may actually get to know people *better* through this medium in many, if not most, cases, and more quickly, than we might otherwise, because our interactions are focussed on the things we already know we have in common, shared intellectual pursuits, etc. Online communications are nothing more than what we did with penpals in pre-computer and telephone days, and no one ever questioned how well one got to know someone through hand-written letters. The immediacy of email, blogs, etc. speed up the process, and expand the options, but it’s still the same thing, really.

As with any other interaction, you learn over time what this person is about, whether they are consistent with points of view, etc., and if we are paying attention, we will note things that don’t fit, if they are there, that ought to trigger suspicion. But likewise, we will also note the consistencies that lead one to know that this person is, in fact, who they say they are, and that they are safe, reliable, etc. Most people will eventually leave just as many clues in writing as they will face to face.

I think it’s actually a fallacy that we “know” people any better just because we have had “face time” with them, as opposed to online communications – and a potentially very dangerous delusion we have all been raised to *not* recognize. How many of us have accepted a date with someone we just met – and let him pick us up at our homes? How well could we *possibly* know this person we’ve spoken to for at most a couple of hours?

In my experience, many of the people I’ve met online, whether I’ve subsequently met them in person or not, have turned out to be some of my closest friends and best professional contacts – including my present partner.

In the case of meeting someone who is well-known in online circles, there’s a certain amount of safety simply in knowing that a lot of other people are well aware of this person – who has a reputation to keep up. I’m not saying this automatically makes him safe, but it certainly helps.

As with online dating, it makes sense to take precautions when meeting new people from online, if you have the slightest doubt about them. Meet in a public place, don’t give out your home address, make sure someone you trust knows where you’ll be and who you’ll be with, etc. But really, most of the time, people who are well-known to others, and who we ourselves have taken the time to get to know online, are decent people, and the biggest “danger” in meeting face-to-face is that we might not particularly click with them.

But if in doubt, take precautions. It’s better to err on the side of safety than to be sorry later. There’s nothing wrong with planning to meet someone, even someone from out of town, at a local restaurant rather than picking them up. It’s so normal, in fact, especially in a business situation, that no one would think to question it.

Taking such precautions *is* usually more important for women, simply because we tend to be smaller and less able to fight off a potential attacker, but it’s also something men should consider as well, because there is such a thing as women who are strong, trained in the martial arts, and/or armed.