A few days ago, I had a chance to have lunch with a dear friend. Lola is successful and intelligent, as well as both technology and business savvy.  Naturally, given my work, the conversation turned to the topic of social media. Lola doesn’t use Facebook. She never has and has absolutely no interest in starting now. Though she has never used Facebook, she has extremely strong opinions about many aspects of the widely popular social networking site, ranging from privacy to rampant oversharing to the implicit meaning of the Like button.

Judging from a distance

I left our lunch wondering…How could someone so bright know that she was opposed to one of the most popular activities in the world without even trying it out herself? Wasn’t she curious in the least bit? Hadn’t she read articles about business-related successes on Facebook, along with the articles about oversharing and privacy risks? If we were talking about something difficult or dangerous (say, cliff diving), I’d understand, but Facebook?

Using social media is not straight forward. Everyone’s experience – what they hope it will be and what it actually turns out to be – is different. One’s experience has everything to do with whom we connect online. It has to do with strategy, style, preferences, and an understanding of the networking platform.

Social media is easily misunderstood. It’s misunderstood when it’s perceived as content, rather than a channel through which content is shared. It is misunderstood when it is seen as a tool which defines one’s experience, rather than a tool which can be used to tailor one’s experience. Would we refuse to use the telephone if we didn’t like the way other people were using it?

Here’s where the brussels sprout come in

Social media is like brussels sprouts. Well, kinda like brussels sprouts. It’s the brussels sprouts of the internet. Brussels sprouts have been described as ugly, smelly and bitter, yet they are rich in disease fighting nutrients. Most people I know despise brussels sprouts; would only consider eating them if no other food was available within a 400 mile radius. Many of these same people have never eaten a brussels sprout or haven’t had one since they were a child. Like social media, brussels sprouts are/can be very good for us, yet both are frequently dismissed based solely on what we’ve “heard” about them.

I’ve put together a handy scientific* chart illustrating this point.

“No, thank you” helpings

When I was young and didn’t want to try a new food, I was told I had to take a No, thank you helping.  A No, thank you helping was a small sampling of whatever I was trying to avoid. It was a taste, just enough for me to decide if I truly did not like the food based on my own first-hand experience, rather than decide based on its purple-ish color or the fact that my sister cried when she tasted it.

Is it possible to take a No, thank you helping of Facebook (or other social media channels)? I propose that it is and that it is simple to do so. One need only to set up an account, connect with interesting people or organizations and periodically read what is being shared. If something seems interesting, it is easy to add a comment and contribute to the conversation. While this small taste will not be the same experience as when one is fully engaged, it is possible to skim the surface and get a sense of how others are using social media. At a minimum, it may facilitate a more informed decision.

On a personal level, I take No, thank you helpings on a regular basis when it comes to something new or something I haven’t tried in a long time. I’ve  hated brussels sprouts for as long as I can remember. A few weeks ago, on a whim, I decided to give them another try, another No, thank you helping. While I don’t expect them to become my favorite food anytime soon, I was surprised to find how much I liked them. All it took was the right recipe and an open mind, and a willingness to give them another try.

*Scientific means that it makes sense in my head

Image courtesy of Ed Yourdon

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• Top 5 Signs Your Business Should Not Be Using Social Media
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• Disconnected in a Hyper-Connected World
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Beware the hidden dangers of social media.

Social media is all the rage. All the cool kids are using it; at least, that’s what the cool kids on the internet are telling us. The number of businesses on Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Google+, and YouTube is mind-boggling, but the real question is how many of them are using the tools wisely?

If you own a business, work for or with businesses, I’m sure you’ve heard from nearly everyone you know that you must be using social media. The pressure to jump into the game immediately, plus the perception that social media success is both free and easy, have led many businesses to make very visible mistakes online. A poorly constructed and executed social plan often leads to results more problematic than had the business done nothing at all.

How many businesses have we all seen have their efforts undermined because they failed to recognize the signs that they weren’t prepared? The good news is that we can all learn from their mistakes, a few of which have led to…

Signs Your Business Should Not Be Using Social Media (Yet)

1. You Like It Because You Think It’s Free

Your primary reason for wanting to use social media is that you think it’s the “modern” way to send your promotional messages out to large numbers of people all at once with very little cost and effort. Perhaps, you’ve sent out promotional postcards (a.k.a. junk mail) in the past and are now looking for a more cost effective way to reach more people. If this is your primary activity online, you are not a marketer. You are a spammer.

2. You’re Obsessed with ROI

You are under the impression that you must know the precise ROI (Return on Investment) of your social media efforts before you begin. Using digital platforms successfully to build community, relationships, and trust is an iterative process. It is, and should be, a strategic approach beginning with thoughtful first steps, followed by measuring the results and adjusting things where appropriate.

Anyone who tells you that if you do X [some social media task], you will achieve Y [specific number of Facebook fans, % increase in sales, etc.] is blowing smoke in your direction. Did you calculate the ROI of the telephone or the company car before you invested in them? Did you know up front how to connect those investments to the bottom line? Of course not, but you knew they were important to the business and you have continually evaluated your use of them to maximize their value. Understanding exactly what you want to measure and how to measure it takes time. Don’t expect to have this completely nailed down before you even begin.

3. Meet Your New Chief of Social Media: The Neighbor’s Kid

The kid spends all day on Facebook anyway, so it makes sense to let him handle all of the social media for your business, right? Plus, you don’t need to pay him. He’s happy to put in a couple of hours a week just to have access to your swimming pool in the summer. If this is the direction you’re heading, or a similar plan to assign the task to a student who will work for peanuts <ahem, intern>, I encourage you to do some research and consider finding someone who is qualified to guide your efforts. Spoiler alert: Being able to tweet or post photos to Facebook from a smartphone doesn’t count as a qualification. 

4. Set Up Your Social Accounts, Watch the Money Roll In

You’ve heard the stories; a bookstore (or was it a coffee shop, no wait, it was a computer company, or was it a magazine, it’s so hard to remember) set up a Facebook Page and six weeks later had 2.5 million Facebook fans and increased sales by 420%.

Stories are just that – stories, not reality. Here’s the truth about social media: It’s not magic; it takes work. It is not a “set it and forget it” proposition. Like most things in life, success comes with focus, competence, passion, a unique vision and, yes, work. In fact, simply setting up pages and then letting them go stale without any activity can do more harm to your brand than had you never set them up in the first place.

5. Your Business Sucks

Incorporating social media tools into an overall business strategy definitely offers important opportunities which wouldn’t have been possible any other way. That said, investing in social media will not save you if your product or service, uhm, sucks. If your customers or your employees aren’t happy, adopting social media will not save your sinking ship. Social media provides a larger platform to be who we are and amplifies the voices of those talking about you. If whatever you’re selling doesn’t work the way it’s supposed to, it might be best to focus your efforts on fixing that problem first and tackle social media once the business sucks a little less.

If these signs describe your view of social media, take heart, you aren’t the only one. Too many are under the impression that going online is a sure-fire way to boost business with little to no effort. If you take the time to really understand the benefits, risks and best practices (or partner with someone else who understands this), you could well be on your way to building the kind of online presence that suits your business best. It won’t happen overnight, but it can happen.

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Image courtesy of upyernoz 

Related articles which may interest you:

• Social Networking Friends vs. Real Life Friends
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I spend way too much time online, most of it on Twitter, Facebook, Google+ or LinkedIn. While you may not spend the hours online as I do, admit it, you are online a lot. My question to you is a simple one:

How well do you really know your virtual connections?

We love our time in this fast-paced world of sharing personal updates, news, opinions and general silly banter, but do we allow the keyboard and screen to depersonalize the experience and create a false sense of intimacy? It feels like we know these people, but do we? (Spoiler alert: The answer is No.)

While there will be always be an ongoing debate about which metrics (number of followers, fans, clicks) are most important when calculating social media ROI (return on investment), I wonder if there is a downside to being a metric-holic. In our quest to connect with more people, stay abreast of new online tools, drive traffic to our websites or defend an opinion, it is all too easy to lose our way. Has become increasingly difficult to remember that there are real people on the other end of our online posts? These real people have real feelings, real families, real problems and real lives. They are not simply numbers.

With most of the essence of communication being non-verbal and only a small percentage about the actual words, we lose the context and nuance of the words when all we get is words. Without body language, facial expression, or tone of voice, misunderstandings are all too frequent. It’s just too hard to understand how my message resonates with you or what you meant when you posted that last update. The result is that, for many, the default behavior is to focus on what I have to say and not on how it might impact you. It’s easier to focus on something I know than on something I have no way of knowing. Still, isn’t it worth a try?

These questions have been rattling around in my mind for the last couple of months, but yesterday’s terribly tragic suicide of well-respected social media expert, Trey Pennington, brought them to the forefront. I only knew Trey virtually, but the pain of those who knew him well is palpable. He had been suffering from depression, something which not all of his friends knew. This, too, begs the question – How well do we know each other and are we a different version of ourselves online and off?

This led me to wonder if it is realistically possible to strengthen our connections, making them more meaningful and authentic. Obviously, there are no easy answers, but we can only start at the beginning by making some commitments to our virtual friends. With that in mind, here are three metrics no social analytics tool will measure when calculating ROI, but which I suggest are pretty damn important. (Yes, I used a curse word. I’m pretty sure we’ll all survive.) It’s time for us to stop taking these connections so lightly and focus more intentionally on each other.

Respect

Is it my imagination or are people more willing to publicly harass and insult others than ever before? I see bloggers calling out other bloggers for unsavory practices. I see people with strong political views arguing the finer points of the problems with the U.S. economy. I see people bullying others for no apparent reason (even boasting about how much fun it is). Healthy disagreements can be both interesting and productive, as long as we remember to respect the person, disagree with their perspective. When these exchanges degrade to the point that they include name-calling, bullying and labeling others, that’s where it crosses the line for me.

Sure, we think we’re right and therefore permitted to make sure everyone knows it. Tell me – who doesn’t think they’re right? What about being smarter, savvier or more right than the other person compels us to overlook the impact our words may be having on someone else?

Consider:

• When you disagree, do you consider whether it’s possible that you’ve misinterpreted the message or intent?
• Do you contact the person privately to see more information?
• If you feel they’ve made a mistake and there is a lesson to be learned, do you share their content publicly without having hidden their identity?
• Is it worth your time to be mindful of respecting others online?

Listening

When we’re online, are we listening? Not the sentiment analysis kind of listening, but the real kind of listening? When we notice that someone has been uncharacteristically silent or frustrated, do we let it pass or do we take it upon ourselves to get in touch directly to see if we might be able to help? Yeah, I know it might be awkward and chances are good that someone else will probably notice, right? And, it’s not like they were asking for someone to notice them – or were they?

Consider:

• Is it possible that you may get a different response to a public “Are you ok?” than a private message?
• Are you able to set aside your own agenda and be open to offering support free from judgement?
• Are you really too busy to listen?
• Are you willing to be that someone else who takes the time to say, “I hear you?”
• Is it worth your time to be a more active listener online?

Hugs

I love hugs. They are a precious, brief moment in time when two people connect, literally or figuratively. Hugs can mean, “I support and care about you,” “I’m sorry,” or “I’m ridiculously happy to see you.” Hugs can mean different things to different people and come in many forms – a comforting embrace, coffee with a friend or a phone call from a loved one. The best thing about them is that they’re shared on a one-to-one basis. In the social media world, we’re always looking for ways to scale communication on a one-to-many basis. For those of you with huge networks of friends, you’re out of luck because hugs don’t scale. And that’s exactly why they are so special.

I’m pretty sure there must be a government-sponsored study around somewhere which validates the health benefits of hugs, but I’ll go out on a limb and just declare that they’re good for us. Whether given or received, you can’t be on the wrong end of a well-intended hug.

Consider:

• Is there someone you know who could use a hug?
• Should we wait until we sense that something is wrong to let someone know we’re thinking of them?
• Why isn’t now the right time?
• Are there times when being willing to ask for a hug is as important as giving one?
• Is it worth your time to share a hug with someone you care about?

Related articles which may interest you:

• Facebook Friend Requests: Accept or Ignore?
• Twitter Etiquette: Outside Voices, Inside Voices and Whispers
• How Facebook Hurt My Feelings
• Just Because We’re Social Networking “Friends” Doesn’t Mean I’ll Go To 3rd Base With You
• Social Networking Friends vs. Real Life Friends

While I’m loving what I see so far on Google+, I’m nowhere near prepared to move and vacate my other social networking accounts. This is not the same as when a new version of a product we’re already using is launched. If I’m an iPhone user and a newer iPhone model comes out, sure, I’ll jump in and buy it, knowing there is no need to keep using both. It would be redundant.

This is not the case with Google+. While some may argue that there are some features which are very similar those on Facebook or Twitter, it is not a straight-across apples to apples comparison. The tools are different, each with its own advantages and disadvantages. Plus, even if I had a strong preference for one over another, suddenly moving my social presence would really be all about me, rather than respecting where and how my community is most comfortable engaging. If such a move doesn’t make sense for my business community, as well as my friends and family, it doesn’t make sense for me.

Why is it, then, that people want to rush in and declare something over or dead so quickly? Is it because they really believe it to be so or is it because they think that it might one day be so and they want to have been the first to have predicted its demise?

R.I.P.

Over the last couple of years, I recall hearing of a few other deaths; among them were email, blogs and the telephone. Strangely, I continue to use them all. Of course, how I use all of the tools and platforms has evolved over time, but they are all still relevant and important. Enough of the useless pronouncements that something is over; I’m over it. I prefer to remain focused on continuing to leverage the right tools in the right away, given our own objectives and resources.

Worry Not

To those not yet on Google+ who may be wondering if it is going to replace whatever you’re currently doing, don’t worry. As long as you continue to share valuable and helpful content and are always willing to keep an open mind about new tools and best practices, you’ll do just fine. Google+ is brand spanking new and has just begun to develop.

If you enjoyed this post, sign up to receive free updates by email here to be sure you don’t miss any future Almost Savvy news. You are also invited to connect with others interested in social media on the friendly folks on the Almost Savvy page on Facebook where we share news and tips.

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Hey, don’t get me wrong, I’m all for puppies. I’m pretty keen on babies, too, but not in our profile pictures. There was a time when we framed and displayed those photos at home or, perhaps, on our desk at the office. Things are no longer as simple. Today, our workplace is not limited to just one desk in just one office. To some extent, we’re all connected to others online and we still want to express ourselves by decorating our online office with our favorite photos. For those of us who have businesses or careers, the version of ourselves we put online matters. It can and will be seen by anyone interested in learning more about us.

One of the often overlooked elements of our online presence is our profile photo. The photo is important for a couple of reasons:

• It makes it easier to recognize you. If I’m meeting you in person for the first time, having seen your photo will put me at ease knowing who I should be looking for. Similarly, if we’ve met in person and you send me an invitation to connect online, seeing your photo will help me remember you.
• Simply put, it humanizes you. I don’t want to connect with an anonymous account. I want to connect with a person. And, yes, this means that it’s time to finally add a photo to your LinkedIn profile if you haven’t yet taken the plunge.

Choosing the Right Photo

1. Head shot – Probably your head, neck and a bit of your shoulders, but no more. It should be the real you, not a cartoon or Mad Men version of you. And, by real you, I also mean current you. It may feel like you were in high school only yesterday, but if you did the lindy hop at your prom, your old yearbook photo won’t do.
2. Logo – Unless your business is a well known brand (think Ford or Macy’s), it is probably best to use your photo rather than a logo. In general, we like and want to connect with people, not businesses. It’s important to note that using a logo instead of a photo on LinkedIn would violate the User Agreement. Skip the logo and stick with your own head shot.
3. Keep it simple - This means we want to see you. Lose the baseball hat, those awesome sunglasses or anything else that competes for our attention in the photo. Same goes for busy backgrounds.
4. You and only you – Getting back to puppies…your primary profile photo is probably not the best use of your puppy photos. Ditto for you and a group of your best friends or you riding your bike.
5. Nudity – If I can see your shoulders in your head shot, I want to see clothing. While you may be wearing a strapless dress, it’s all about perception. Don’t take the time to create a great profile only to leave people wondering if you’re actually naked. Eww. There is no difference between being naked and appearing to be naked in a profile photo. There is a time and a place for nudity, but your profile photo is neither of these.
6. Consistency – A great way to help your own branding is to use the same photo for all of your online profiles. Use the same photo on LinkedIn, Twitter, Facebook, Flickr, YouTube channel, your blog, etc. It will make it much easier for people to recognize you right away.
7. Smile – Don’t overthink your pose. Attempts to look too serious can come off as intimidating. And none of those here-I-am-looking-busy-by-pretending-to-talk-on-the-phone photos. You’re not that busy. Put the phone down for a second so you can smile and have your picture taken.
8. Doesn’t need to be fancy – You don’t need to rush out and schedule a session with a professional portrait photographer. Having a friend take a photo of you in front of a solid background should be fine as long as the lighting is sufficient. Word of warning – Whatever you do, have someone else take your picture. Do not, under any circumstances, let me see you taking your own photo in the bathroom mirror with your phone.

Exceptions

I can hear you all the way across the internet, “But I use the different social networking platforms differently and that’s why I have puppies on Facebook and am wearing a suit and tie on LinkedIn.” You are in good company. If you must have a profile photo with your puppy/baby/surfboard/bottle of wine/cigar/goat, keep it on Facebook and only on Facebook. As long as you understand what can be seen when a potential client or employer Googles your name and you’re OK with it, that’s all that matters.

Are your profile photos dressed to impress? What profile photo best or worst practices have I missed?

If you enjoyed this post, sign up to receive free updates by email here to be sure you don’t miss any future Almost Savvy news. You are also invited to connect with others interested in social media on the friendly folks on the Almost Savvy page on Facebook where we share news and tips.

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If you grew up with a mother anything like mine, many of your childhood memories include being shushed and reminded to use your inside voice. We had three voices, but the one we heard the most about was our inside voice. Heaven forbid we might say something too loudly and the neighbors would hear! Little did I know these voices would come in handy when thinking about Twitter.

I had a recent conversation with Laura, someone I’d just followed on Twitter, about the practice of sending DMs (direct messages) to new followers. Laura clearly disagreed with my perspective that this practice is often seen as rude. She felt it was rude not to acknowledge new followers. In fact, she felt that I was rude in not replying to her DM and she unfollowed me. I chuckled when I saw that because I unfollow those who similarly send DMs to new followers, but, for some reason, I had taken a look at Laura’s account and decided not to unfollow her. She seemed authentic to me. One of the things I appreciate about Laura, despite her having concluded that I was rude, is that she was still willing to ask about my rationale and share her perspective. I appreciate an open conversation with someone with a different point of view any day.

Following our discussion, I racked my brain for a better way to explain the differences I saw between using public tweets and private DMs and I thought of the voices. I grew up understanding my three voices – the outside voice, the inside voice and the whisper. Like public and private messages, each voice is important: it’s all a matter of understanding the best time and place.

Your Outside Voice on Twitter

This is the voice you’re using when you send many of your tweets, what you’re broadcasting to everyone following you. This is what you would like everyone in the neighborhood to hear, even those people who just moved in down the street that you haven’t even had a chance to meet yet.

Good uses of your outside voice:

- Sharing helpful or interesting information about news, events, tips, etc.

Bad uses of your outside voice:

- Repeatedly tweeting self-promotional information

- Constant republishing of others’ content (RSS feeds, quotes, etc.)

Your Inside Voice on Twitter

This is your conversational voice for when you’re engaging with others. On Twitter, these are the @ replies used to contact others directly. Your inside voice on Twitter is not private, though. This is a conversation you’re having in the front yard of your house (OK, not technically inside, but work with me here). You’re talking with someone directly, but anyone from the neighborhood is welcome to come by to listen and even join the conversation. It’s good to have a mix of using your outside voice to get to know new people and using your inside voice to connect one-on-one.

Good uses of your inside voice:

- Commenting on content posted by someone else

- Joining a conversation in progress by adding relevant information or commentary

- Introducing yourself  or striking up a conversation with someone you’d like to get to know

Bad uses of your inside voice:

- Replying to someone based on a keyword search (i.e., they mention iPad and you reply “@user Like iPads, buy one at http://spamipadlink.com”)

Whispering on Twitter

This is the voice you use when you don’t want anyone else to hear you. It is intimate. This conversation does not take place on the front lawn where others can walk over and join us. When you send me a DM, you’re saying, “Psst, let’s step into your house so I can tell you something private.” To me, whispering is not something I have a need or desire to do with someone I don’t yet know. You may be fabulous, but until we have some sort of connection, there is no need to whisper.

This is the voice you are using when sending a Twitter DM, which is private. DMs are only visible to the sender and the recipient. While it is possible for me to see/hear what you are saying with your outside and inside voices on Twitter, you cannot contact me by DM until I follow your account. As a practical matter, most Twitter users have their accounts configuring so that all DMs are immediately forwarded to them via text message or email. Having the ability to send me a DM (and therefore an email) is similar to having the ability to tell me to step into my house so you can whisper; it is a privilege, not a right. Barge into my house uninvited and I won’t allow you in again. Send me a DM prematurely and I’ll unfollow to prevent a reoccurrence.

Good uses of whispering:

- Friends who want to chat or vent off the record

- Friends making plans who don’t want to broadcast all the details

- Customer service departments asking that you DM your contact information to allow their staff to follow-up with you

Bad uses of whispering:

- Messages from someone I don’t yet know, immediately after following their account (whether automated or not, and whether promotional or not)

- Requests for RTs (retweets) for promotional purposes

It is important to note that these are my guidelines, my preferences and, to some extent, my rules. Despite what my mother believes, I do not rule the internet. While I know there are those who will agree, there are many who won’t and this is perfectly fine. As I often write, the beauty of social media is that it is up to each of us to create the type of presence we’d like to have online and to find and connect with those who use the tools in a way which aligns with our own preferences. Especially on Twitter, we have the opportunity to try people on for size to see how well they fit for us. It is important, though, to stay in touch with what our what works best for our audience wants, lest they return us too quickly.

If you’d like to try me on for size, I invite you to follow me on Twitter. I look forward to getting to know you and promise not to inappropriately or prematurely whisper. If I’m not a good fit, you can always return me.

Have your say: What would you add to the list of best or worst uses for the outside or inside voice, or whispers on Twitter?

If you enjoyed this post, sign up to receive free updates by email here to be sure you don’t miss any future Almost Savvy news. You are also invited to connect with others interested in social media on the friendly folks on the Almost Savvy page on Facebook where we share news and tips.

Related articles which may interest you:

• Happy Holidays! Please Enjoy This Spam
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• The ROI of Respect, Listening and Hugs
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I know a lot of people, more than I’ve ever known at any other time in my life.  I spend much of my day connecting with them in one way or another. We connect on Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, email, IM chat and (surprise, surprise) sometimes we even talk on the telephone. When I say we’re “connecting”, I mean we’re sharing interesting and relevant information, conducting business, and having a bit of fun, too. Just to be clear, none of my time online is spent playing Farmville or Mafia Wars. Because the focus of my work revolves around social media, it isn’t surprising that most of it is done while sitting in front of a computer. When my work does take me away from the computer, it’s usually to speak to a group interested in learning how to use technology to more effectively connect with others.

I found myself thinking about people I missed. Why hadn’t we talked? What was getting in the way? I don’t think technology is the reason I was feeling disconnected from them. It’s too easy to blame computers or the internet.  It couldn’t possibly have been my fault, could it?

Being busy was the reason, or rather feeling busy, and technology is certainly is a major contributor to that sensation. With the always-on connection to our work, news, games and shopping, there is always more to be done. The being/feeling busy wasn’t only happening on my end. I was hearing, “We should definitely plan a time to talk soon, but I’m not available for the next six weeks.” from my friends. Who was in charge of our schedules? How had we (how had I) surrendered our ability to prioritize?

Disconnected. I finally knew what to call it, now what to do about it? While enjoyable in a self-serving, short-term sort of way, pouting and moping just aren’t my style. Don’t have time to drive across town to get together? Live across the country? No problem, I’m going to fix that.

The email I sent telling friends how much I missed them and inviting them to a coffee date via Skype video chat was met with mixed reactions. Since this was something new for me, leveraging technology to fix the problem I had allowed it to help create, I started small and sent the email to a small number of friends. To make it even easier, I included the link to my Tungle account, allowing them to view my calendar and select a convenient time. If they wanted to accept my invitation, there was nothing standing in their way. If they weren’t comfortable with Skype, using the phone was certainly an option.

The not-so-scientific results (so far):

• 4 friends said: “That’s just too weird, Irene. We should just meet in person.”  To be fair, none of these people spend nearly the amount of time online that I do, so I understand their reaction. (Of those, I got together with two – a definite win! Sadly, I don’t really expect to see the others any time soon – they’re busy.)
• 4 friends signed themselves up right away (I’ve already had virtual coffee dates with three of them. All fantastic!)
• 2 friends said they plan to book a time soon. (Of those, I expect one will actually follow through.)
• There are several people I’ve yet to hear from. I know that a few of them have massively busy mailboxes. The rest of them? Maybe a coffee date with me doesn’t sound that exciting?

I am so glad that I did this and appreciate that some of my friends were willing to go along with “whatever crazy thing Irene is up to now.” I was able to catch up virtually with an old friend from high school who now has a beautiful family and a fascinating career, a dear friend I met while traveling in Europe in my early 20s (and whom I may have tried to encourage to break a few rules while in East Berlin) who is now doing great things working for the U.S. government in Washington D.C., one of my role models when it comes to community management and a wonderfully supportive friend now working for Google, one of my favorite people since meeting when our kids were in kindergarten together and a smart, politically savvy friend with whom I’ve already got plans to meet up again.

If I call these conversations “real” does that make the online connections any less real? I don’t think so, yet they are different – and important. There was no talk of business, no agenda other than setting aside the time to reconnect and catch-up. I’ve got to say that the video chats were no less warm or genuine than the in-person coffee dates. The only downside – no hugs.

I am going to make a point to set aside time to reconnect with others more frequently. Having the opportunity to look into someone’s eyes and tell them that you care and have been thinking about them (and get the same support and warmth in return) is not something to be left for a day when I’m not busy.

If you enjoyed this post, sign up to receive free updates by email here to be sure you don’t miss any future Almost Savvy news. You are also invited to connect with others interested in social media on the friendly folks on the Almost Savvy page on Facebook where we share news and tips.

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That said, bring on the controversy. Let’s get ready to rumble!

Just over a year ago, LinkedIn introduced a feature allowing users to post all of their Twitter updates, also known as tweets, to LinkedIn. Not surprisingly, many people have since added the feature, causing my LinkedIn homepage to no longer be a place of value and interest to me. Sound a little melodramatic? Maybe. But the updates from my LinkedIn connections telling their network about a new job, an interesting project or sharing news and requests for assistance were an easy way to stay up-to-date and support others where I could.

Now, before you start to school me on how I don’t get Twitter or LinkedIn, you may want to look here and here to see that I am a huge fan of both. It’s just that I see Twitter and LinkedIn (and Facebook, for that matter) as different places with their own culture, pace and etiquette. Just because it’s easy for me to push every single tweet to LinkedIn doesn’t mean it aligns with the type of presence I want to have on LinkedIn and, more importantly, doesn’t mean that it is best for my connections.

I find myself hiding updates from my connections who post their tweets to LinkedIn more and more frequently because it makes it nearly impossible to see the content I really want to see. Unfortunately, it is not an option to hide just their tweets. Once that person is hidden from my stream, I don’t see any of their updates, which means I may be missing something important.

I was curious if others were also struggling with this same issue and if they were actually spending time weeding through the status updates on LinkedIn to find the ones most interesting so I posted this question as my own status update:

With so many people pushing posts from Twitter to LinkedIn, I wonder if anyone is really reading these updates anymore. Will you like or comment if you see this message?

Rather than summarize huge amount of feedback and suggestions for best practices I received, here is a small sampling of the comments:

Clearly, I hit a nerve and many people have very strong feelings about:

• How they’d like their friends to consider them when deciding how to use the different networking sites
• How they’d like to use tools that make posting to multiple places simultaneously easier

The problem is that it seems most people place a much higher priority on one of the items above, leaving them at odds with those who place a high priority on the other. So, simple question – if you are posting Twitter updates to LinkedIn, have you considered asking your LinkedIn connections how they feel about this? Does it enhance their experience because you share wonderful content or does it only add noise to their stream?

A couple of years ago, I started posting my tweets to Facebook. It made sense to me because it was easy. After a few months, I began to rethink that practice and disconnected the two. All of a sudden, my Facebook friends came forward to tell me how much they hated seeing my tweets. Often the content wasn’t relevant and context was missing. Unbeknownst to me, I was irritating the hell out of them, yet no one told me. Since then, I’ve decided to put my audience – my Twitter followers, LinkedIn connections and Facebook friends – first.

Just because we can doesn’t mean we should. Just because there’s an app for that doesn’t mean it’s the right thing to do.

Many thanks to the 50+ people who took the time to add their thoughts to this conversation on LinkedIn. I learned from each of you. I also came across a similar discussion started by Karla Porter and a blog post by Jorgen Sundberg entitled Dear Tweeters, Stop Cluttering My LinkedIn Homefeed, which is a perfect complement to this post as it includes important screenshots and detailed information - check them out.

If you enjoyed this post, sign up to receive free updates by email here to be sure you don’t miss any future AlmostSavvy news. You are also invited to connect with others interested in social media on the friendly folks on the AlmostSavvy page on Facebook where we share news and tips.

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Most of the more popular social networking platforms now allow us to connect our profiles with cool applications which make it a snap to share photos, find new people, simultaneously post to multiple sites and so on. Most of these applications were designed by third parties, which means that even though we use them on Facebook, Twitter and LinkedIn, they were created by people outside these companies. When we use these applications, we also give them permission to view our accounts. This often means that the people who created these applications have access to our personal information, such as our email, phone, list of our friends, etc.

As long as we’re careful about which apps we connect to our accounts, we should be in good shape. What often happens, though, is that we hear about a new app, decide to try it out and then we forget about it. All of those apps that we’ve tried, but don’t continue to use still have access to all of our data. Can you remember all of the apps you’ve added to each of your accounts? No? Me neither. The good news is that, with just a few short minutes of your time, you can delete all of those old apps that you tried on and decided that they didn’t fit.

To find the apps you’ve added and delete those you no longer use, go here:

Twitter – Click ‘Revoke Access’ below each app you’d like to delete.

Facebook – To remove an app, click the X to the right. To see what information the app is accessing from your profile, click on ‘Edit Settings’

LinkedIn – To delete an app, check the box next to its name and click ‘Remove’ at the bottom of the page. You’ll also be able to see which apps you’ve added from within LinkedIn and which were added while you were on another website.

A word of caution before you begin deleting…be sure that you are indeed no longer using that particular application. Is it possible that you actually are using it? All I’m suggesting is to pause for a moment, then delete to your heart’s content.

How many apps did you find on each account? I tend to try out a lot of apps and actually continue to use many of them. Still, I was surprised to find 75 on my own Facebook account. Anyone beat that?

If you enjoyed this post, sign up to receive free updates by email here to be sure you don’t miss any future AlmostSavvy news. You are also invited to connect with others interested in social media on the friendly folks on the AlmostSavvy page on Facebook where we share news and tips.

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As I was listed as one of the LeWeb Official Bloggers, I received a few requests to meet from those interested in obtaining coverage for their product or for one of their clients. Anyone who reads my blog will easily see that this really isn’t the way I work. My posts about new tools and applications represent a small proportion of my content.

Still, there was one guy who sent me several messages hoping to set up a time to meet with me while at LeWeb. Since I’ll be using our exchange to highlight how not to approach and pitch a blogger for coverage, I won’t share his name or the name of his application. To keep things simple, I’ll just call him “ThisGuy.”

Mistake #1: Misrepresent Your Reasons for Wanting to Connect

I sent and received many messages in advance of the conference, all in an effort to meet interesting people. The chance to take online connections offline is one to be savored and I was determined to make the most of the opportunity. I was delighted to receive messages from other attendees, but had a gut feeling about ThisGuy’s email. I even replied and asked if the reason for his request was to pitch me his application. His reply was vague, something about how it would be beneficial for the two of us to meet. There was so much great content at LeWeb that I tried my best to manage my time effectively. In the end, I didn’t agree to his meeting request.

On the second day of LeWeb, unbeknownst to me, I happened to wander by where ThisGuy had set himself up and he recognized me. His computer was open and he launched into discussing why I’d want to use his application. Now, let’s be clear. It didn’t hurt my feelings that some guy I don’t know didn’t genuinely want to meet me just for the thrill of knowing me. My problem was not that he wanted to pitch anything; it’s that he wasn’t up front about it. If the reason you want to get in touch with a blogger is to tell them about your totally life-changing product, let them know that up front. Don’t try to pretend that the request is anything else.

Mistake #2: Do Absolutely No Homework Up Front

Once ambushed, ThisGuy’s first question was “What tool are you currently using to get more Twitter followers?” Not, “Do you use such a tool?” Bad move.

Does it seem inconceivable that the number of Twitter followers I have could have possibly grown organically? Yes, I do realize that many, many people use such tools, but I never have. Again, if he had taken the time to read my blog or communicate with me up front, he likely would have known this and we would have avoided the awkward conversation which followed. It hadn’t even occurred to him that I might not be using such a tool and was therefore stunned that I also had no interest in using his tool, which was created for this purpose. Doing some very basic research up front saves time for both parties and increases the likelihood that you’ve reached someone who might be interested in what you’re pitching.

Mistake #3: Do Not Assess the Market for Your Product

In addition to growing one’s Twitter numbers, ThisGuy’s application is designed to managed auto-DMs (automated direct messages) on Twitter. He explained that this is the one true way to engage with others and have meaningful conversations. Bullcrap. Either he’s living in a bubble and only talking with others who automate their online presence and/or he has failed to see that many people consider sending auto-DMs as being extremely poor etiquette. Even I’ve written about the reasons I will automatically unfollow someone on Twitter, with auto-DMs being one of my big pet peeves. The fact that this all seemed to take him by surprise told me that he didn’t do him homework because it was much easier to assume that everyone thinks the way he does.

Mistake #4: Argue and Get Personal

All this leads to the biggest problem with our little encounter. If we were in a boxing ring and there was an announcer, I imagine the commentary would have gone something like this…

“In this corner, with a laptop, an application and a belief that there is only one way to succeed online…….ThisGuy!”

“And this corner, a blogger who has shunned automation, preferring to have more public and genuine conversations online……Irene!”

“ThisGuy comes out swinging. He sizes up the competition and concludes that Irene is not truly interested in getting to know her followers because, if she was, she’d be using auto-DMs to do so. Irene begins to respond by explaining that not everyone has the same point of view and that she feels that having real-time, open conversations (which allow others to listen, learn and join) are, in fact, more genuine. ThisGuy scoffs and is determined to prevail. Irene quickly excuses herself from the ring and leaves.”

Seriously? If I’m not a fan of what you’re pitching, you’re going to insult me and suggest I don’t know what I’m doing? Forget pitching, this is just plain rude and uninformed. Stellar move. Yes, you’ve got twice as many Twitter followers as I do. I know how you got them and I don’t care. Next time, a little homework (and etiquette) might prove helpful.

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